Today was an off-day for food preparation and consumption.

I made some carrot juice. Never having made carrot juice before, I adhered very stringently to the recipe I found. The recipe called for lemon juice, which I included, momentarily forgetting that I hate lemon juice in any incarnation other than lemon bars, lemon glazed sugar cookies, or lemonade.

I did not like the juice. I tried to save it by putting it in a smoothie. I did not like the smoothie. Defeated, I ate a  muffin. It promptly turned to sand in my mouth.

I gave up on food at around 4pm. I guess that’s what anxiety does to you.

Anxiety and I have been bosom companions for the past three years. Being a full-time student was stressful enough, but now I’m a full-time student teetering on the cusp of post-grad-dom. And while I thought this last semester would be a sprint to the finish, instead it’s proven to be a long, grueling death match. There are so many things standing between me and this next chapter of my life–finishing up school projects, finding an apartment, tying up loose ends here and at home, graduating, moving. I’m overwhelmed. Everyone keeps exhorting me to “finish strong,” but at this point I’m ready to collapse across the finish line.

Still, so many things will change for the better after graduation–in my life in general, but also on this here bloggity-blog. Come May, I’m looking to do a bit of an overhaul. I have a lot of ideas about where to take it, and I’m eager to implement them. I’m eager to move forward. It’s been a long time since I’ve been eager to do, well, anything, so I’m not taking this feeling for granted.

Patience has never been my forte. But May will come when it comes, and it’s not like I don’t have anything to fill the time between now and then.